Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts

20061101

muaythai #125

got whacked again!!! argh!!!
3x bag, 2x pad, 4x spar, pumps & crunches
got whacked lk nuts; head, legs, body =\
i whack i get whacked
i move i get whacked
i block i get whacked
i stand all e more get whacked
ko

dun come & fuck me off juz bcoz i didnt transfer e $$$
shldnt u b happy tt im not usin much of urs???
its not tt i dun nid its tt i 1 2 try my limit

dun fuck me off juz coz u dun c me
dun fuck me off juz coz im back late
u dun noe how long i spend travellin on e rd up & down
u dun noe how much time ive 2 spend doin up my wk even if it means i dun zzz
u dun noe how fuckin tired im @ gettin more wk & $$$
u dun noe how much bullshit ive 2 bear
all u dos juz blar @ me
sayin nth but bullshit crap

damn u

20060731

1 2 treat ppl well but they dun reciprocate
once's disappointin, twice's maddenin
dun say i dun give treats; i gave but u chose 2 give it up
4 reasons sumwat fucked up

u dun bother 2 call/msg
but make me wait all dae long

U TINK IVE ALL E FUCKIN TIME IN E WORLD JUZ 2 WAIT 4 U?

when u r enjoyin urself; doin things tt u said otherwise
wtf do u take me 4?

sum1 2 listen 2 ur nags, askin me how but u dun do wat i say so wat u 1 me 2 do?
i can oni call u 犯賤

20060619

fuckin hell

helpin u; makin myself poor/broke/miserable =

when im empty i get dumped
nv bothers 2 call/reply; r u tt fuckin bz?

fuckin ass

every1's broke xcept me ya rite
u r broke ya rite
u r broke coz u brought it upon urself; squanderin watever u ve
spendin on things 2 'boost' ur ego & lendin urself in debts
ve u ever tot 4 me when u squandered ur own $? NO
i duno where e hell ur $ went w/o 2 wks u r fuckin amazin & borrowed immediately after tt
ve u ever tot 4 me when u squandered e $ borrowed? NO
u said u r broke but all tt uve done tells me otherwise; how e fuck do u xpect me 2 blieve u r broke & lend/not chase u?
i cant get past myself 2 cont gettin exploited by u coz u noe i cant bear 2 reject u
ive said it many times: if u dun ve $ i wont chase but when i noe uve & u juz fuckin dun wana return me i'll hound u down
u dun give a fuckin damn abt me so y shld i?

when i nided help wtf were u?
zzz like a pig or havin fun & callin me early in e am juz say 'can u lend me $50' or 'can u help me return blah $50' & 'i'll return u asap'
enuf of those bullshit crap

u ignore me when i said i'll stop lendin u coz ive had enuf of it
u ignore me when i ask if uve $ 2 return when i noe u ve but u chose not 2 but do sumthinelse w it
pushin it away w 'when i sell my stuff i'll return u' which nv ever comes true
u alwaz push me rite 2 e bottom, not carin a damn, xpectin me 2 accomodate u w my $ alot lesser than wat u ve
alwaz puttin others [ppl & things] above me wat m i???
ur walkin atm? ur walkin $ mine? ur walkin $ printer?
dun xpect me 2 borrow frm others juz 2 pull myself thru; im not u w ur thick pig skin cloudin ur useless brain

so wat if u r good @ gamin? u dun fuckin earn a livin
tell me u earn little? well coz u fuckin dun 1 2 look @ e higher paid jobs i sent 2 u
is it my fault? NO its ur own fuckin fault

i wonder how e hell cld ive stuck w u 4 8 yrs;
mayb its time 2 end since no 1 ever lasted thru it
bein fuckin taken 4 granted
i feel fuckin used, fuckin ignored, fuckin dead 2 u

im sick & tired;
i rather not ve u
return wat u owe & fuck outta my life

20060430

y ive 2 bear e butt

goin out late w diff ppl
loanin ppl $
chasin ppl $
accept e 'fact/xcuse' tt they cant return when i noe they fuckin earn a deal, get gov pkgs, enjoyin emselves yet tell me they cant return a single cent???!!!

is 50 alot 2 ask???
50 can b spent in a nite out yet not 2 me?
so im supposed 2 b put rite @ e bottom of e pit w all 'other infinite xpenses' pilin up above & juz rot there til infinity 4 my turn or when theres 'enuf' 2 spare 2 return?
but when & how muchs enuf??? how long's long???
tell me can sum1 fuckin tell me???!!!
damn loathe 2 chase pp4 4 $ coz i noe sum dun ve [else wont borrow frm me liao] but sum r juz shit

i tink i shldnt b tt generous/helpful/chivalrous/豪放/講義氣 [i shld b more 'selfish' which i cant] 2 lend ppl $, makin myself broke & miserable when they r merryin/doin wat they 'nid' w e $; but den again i cant juz burn e entire forest down coz 1 tree crushed me flat rite?

contradictin shit

woofy huffy puffy

suddenly it hit me again
every1 does smoke; irregardless whether e cig's in ur mouth
its in ur mouth, u r active
its in e air u breathe, u r passive
u smoke freq u r hook puff
u smoke whilst club u r club puff
u smoke 4 fun/trial u r rookie puff
u smoke 2 look kool sorry u r loser puff
even those u tink dun, oni when they lite up den u noe e true fact tt they do
its been so long since i c ppl ard me puffin away; startin frm 'i oni smoke when i club', 'i share e pack', 'its social' til 'i smoke when i c ppl smoke', 'i smoke when ppl jio me smoke', 'i got can head 4 cheap cigs', 'cant quit lar so long liao'
yet i stil cant accept it; sumtimes when i c em smoke i juz 1 2 grab it frm em & dump it or tink whether i shld delude myself in2 e circle
lame reasons/xcuses i say but den again its their logic so wat can i say
gals can accept guys smoke but guys cant accept gals puffin away
so i juz ive 2 'accept' e fact tt prac all those ard me smoke but they cant take e idea of me probably itchin 2 smoke

but den again im well known 2 b a 乖 beng tt doesnt smoke, cant drink much, dun even say ani f lang xcept 'fuck' wahaha
til now i stil tink i can find 1 tt doesnt puff

so wru dinosaur???!!!


sumtimes i tink im over restrained tt i dun do certain things tt i 1 2 do & e chance's there
i dun dare 2 do tis, i dun dare 2 do tt even tho its not sum big fuck matter; mayb i juz lack e guts & inferiority creeps in
i tell myself 'accept e fact tt u r fat & short' so ive 2 accept e fact tt im short but fat can b trained 2 lean & i oni its possible; juz tt i lack e endurance & discipline
i tot i can b nonchalant but sumhow i cant let myself go or pull myself 2gether;

im a total wreck

20060422

0900 ~ 0100

went 2 mit zjh 2 discuss e projs: 1 edu & 1 hr @ 2.5k
back hm 2 change den 2 e spa
rotted ard ard orchard & city hall
met alice, lynn & kk @ city hall
dinner @ suntec juz noodles
den bus_ed down 2 5/10; havent been there 4 6+ mths
drank 2 pints of heineken
ate a egg/cheese prata
cabbed hm
didnt tok much 2 alice; didnt feel like 2, y tok abt unhappy things tho i noe its troublin her


how old u tink she looks?
i noe my face's shiny but tts e spa facial cream not my face oil

got nagged @ e moment i reached hm:
FUCKIN SHIT!!!
I DUN GIVE A FUCK ABT WAT NEWS ON MISSIN PPL GETTIN RAPED OK
IM FUCKIN 22 SOON & YET I DUN GET E FREEDOM TT IM SUPPOSED 2 GET SINCE 16/18/21
DO I VE 2 REPORT 2 U EVERYTHIN & EVERYWARE I GO???!!!
GET A LIFE IF U R TOO FREE WHICH'S DEFINITELY TRUE
I NID MY BREAK K; DUN FUCKIN CTRL ME LIKE A LEASHED DOG
I NOE U R 'CONCERNED' BUT TTS FUCKIN CTRL K
IVE MY MIND I NOE WTF IM DOIN K!!!
ASS
& 4 FUCKIN SAKE DUN ACT LIKE U R SO 'LIBERAL' & 'OPEN MINDED' IN FRONT OF OTHERS WHEN U R NOWARE NEAR THERE; FAKO

20060225

獨立 == 孤寂

DEPRESSION MANIAC

SO DOWN YET SO ALONELY

ROAMIN, SITTIN, ROTTIN, ZZZ ALONE

獨立的人也有想死的時候
獨立的人也有超低落的時候
獨立的人不需要依賴人
獨立的人也有想要個人陪

獨立 == 孤寂


bot a basketball
dribbled & shot ard
did sum conditNin
feelin alot beta now; my old fren helped me out when no others did
sports therapy helps

20060222

一段稱得上真愛的戀情必須經過四個階段

必須經過四個階段,那就是:
共存(Co-dependent)
反依賴(Counter-dependent)
獨立(Independent)
共生(Inter-dependent)

階段之間轉換所需的時間不一定,因人而易。

第一個階段:共存。
這是熱戀時期,情人不論何時何地總希望能膩在一起。

第二個階段:反依賴。
等到情感穩定后,
至少會有一方想要有多一點自己的時間作自己想做的事,這時另一方就會感到被冷落。

第三個階段:獨立。
這是第二個階段的延續,要求更多獨立自主的時間。

第四個階段:共生。
這時新的相處之道已經成形,
你(你)的他(她)已經成為你(你)最親的人。 
你們在一起相互扶持、一起開創屬于你們自己的人生。
你們在一起不會互相牽絆,而會互相成長。

但是,大部分的人都通不過第二或第三階段,
而選擇分手一途,這是非常可惜的。
很多事只要好好溝通都會沒事的,不要耍個性,
不要想太多要互相信任,這樣第二、三階段的時間就會縮短。

和所愛的人相遇相戀是非常不容易的,不要輕言放棄。

兩人相聚是因為有緣,相知是因為有心,真的得好好珍惜這福份莫說分手不是無緣,

希望看到上述的四個階段,
真能給大家一些啟示与領悟并惜緣

我們會逐漸變成我們所愛的人。
你和他本來沒有相同之處,外表不相像,性格也是南轅北轍,一旦愛上了,年深日久,你會惊訝你的眼睛有點像他 的眼睛,他的微笑也有點像你的微笑。

你們走路的步伐也有點相似,說話的語气也愈來愈相像。他的脖子上有一顆痣,一天,你發現自己脖子上也多了一 顆痣,原來我們會變成我們所愛的人。

你本來喜歡腳踏實地的人,而他一向比較輕佻,但你們愛上了,他竟會不知不覺變成一個老實人,這個改變,連他 自己也不曾察覺。

他本來喜歡活潑的女孩子,卻愛上了拘謹的你,這些日子,你竟愈來愈活潑,你差點認不出自己。我們會逐漸變成 對方理想中的人,這种改變,

絕對不是刻意的。兩個人愈愛得長久,气質也愈來愈相近,你曾經以為他不是你夢寐以求的那种類型,然而,有一 天,你惊訝地發現,

他已經變成你喜歡的那种類型,你不必再到處尋覓,他就是你要找的人。

深深愛著一個人的時候,你原來真的會一點一點的失去自己,為甚么你還會覺得快樂呢?

大概是因為你在失去的當儿,也是賺了,你把他的气質和他的微笑都賺回來..

幸福很單純...
所以要很單純的人才容易獲得.....

在黃昏暖你的手就已足夠
很喜歡很喜歡。。。。。。希望大家都能走過這四個階段

20060215

愛

單身,有時不一定是貴族。
單身也許會比較自由,但自由也有一個同義詞,叫作寂寞。
因為人不是什么時候都喜歡一個人獨處的;
有時好東西需要跟人分享,有時候難過需要人安慰。
單身貴族產生的原因,是因經濟上的獨立、人格上的獨立以及感情上的獨立。
獨立是什么?獨立是需要而不依賴,一個獨立的人需要异性,而不依賴异性。

做情人之前,她應該先是朋友。
她成為你的朋友之后,出現在你的生活里,才有可能認識你、了解你、知道你的長處而對你產生好感,進一步發展感情,變成情人、對象。
世界上的顏色并非只有白色和黑色,黑与白之間還有很漫長的灰色地帶。
只要多相處,便能發現對方的优點、產生好感,這才是發展感情的自然過程。
『一見鐘情』以及『從一而終』的感情是不切實際的,我們需要的不是這种不切實際而虛幻的感情。
有人形容跟异性交往,就好象在海邊撿石頭,大家都會撿喜歡的那一顆。
一旦撿到一顆你最喜歡的石頭,便把它帶回家去,好好對待它,因為那是你唯一的石頭。而且要記住,從此后不要再到海邊去。
(永遠相信,我已經找到最大、最美、最适合我的那一顆)。

跟异性交往最重要的不是他有多好,而是他對你有多好。
一個人如果條件很好,有一百分,可是這一百分之中,他只給你三四十分,或一二十分;相反地,另一個人也許只有七八十分,可是他卻是全心全意的對待你【你,那你應該選擇那一個?
其實,每一個人的條件都是一樣的。不管你有多好,都還有人比你更好。
你雖然做不到一個『最好的人』,可是你卻做得到一個『對對方最好的人』。
每一個男孩子都可以說:『雖然我不是世界上最好的男人,但我是世界對你最好的男人』。反過來女孩子也是一樣,這是每一個人都做得到的。
感情最重要的是在于他對你的好,而不是他自己有多好。
但是如果有一個人本身已經很好了,對你又是真心真意,真心愛你,那么你真的可以把一生托付給他。
現在女性考慮婚姻的唯一條件,應該就是你愛不愛他,他愛不愛你,是不是真心真意對你,跟他在一起會不會有壓力,會不會快樂,而非他有什么!

人間的真愛是很難得的。
在人的一生中,很難找到一個你真正愛,真正可以跟他過一輩子的人如果你怯于表達,或害怕會有什么事,錯失一輩子可能只有一次的真愛,那就太可惜了,所以一定要采取主動,把心里的話說出來。
如果一個男孩子因為女孩子對他采取主動而看不起她,那么這個男孩子不是男生,而是畜生。
更何況,幸福比面子重要,如果犧牲一時的面子可以換得一生的幸福,是非常值得的,勇敢把心里的話說出來,不要隱藏自己的真心。
千万別說緣份未到,其實緣份到處都有,但卻是稍縱即逝,如果『緣』不及時把握,那就沒有『份』了。
大多數的女性對感情是偏重于精神,男性則偏于物質。
男孩子除了對女孩子殷勤体貼外,也要學會對女孩子負責任,要將對天下所有女孩子的殷勤体貼,全部用來對一個女孩子。
另外剛毅木納并不能討女孩歡心,所以要學習對女孩子甜言蜜語,多說好話。
男人,為性而愛;女人,為愛而性。

一個維持起來輕松、愉快的感情容易長久!
一個維持起來艱難而痛苦的感情不易長久,這時后就應該有所選擇。
我們都是凡夫俗子,要的是平凡而幸福并且快樂的愛情。
對所有的感情而言,過程遠比結果重要。
為什么?因為所有的感情都是沒有結果的。什么是結果?結婚嗎?
結婚之后就過著幸福快樂的日子嗎?可見我們不以感情的結果來評斷它的价值感情也不以時間的長短來論定它的价值。
對感情而言,凡是發生過的都存在,凡是存在過的都有价值。
世界上的感情每一段、每一分、每一秒都是值得珍惜的。
婚姻是人生里最大的一場賭局。
在這無限長的時間里,我們還要互相呈現最丑陋的一面給對方看。
婚姻和戀愛不同的是:戀愛可以花二個小時打扮自己,精神奕奕的向對方獻殷勤、体貼,輕松完成任務。
可是婚姻就無法隨時維持高亢的狀態。
所以,婚姻是一場大賭注,需有万全的准備、周詳的計划、十足的信,然后再去押它一把,即使是這樣都還有可能輸掉。
因此如果在賭之前,就知道自己不是心甘情愿、不是很愛他、并不想跟他過一輩子,那么這一場賭注注定是要輸的。
千万不要為了愛情之外的任何一個理由結婚。
感情的可貴不在于可從對方獲得什么,一方面是一种被依賴、被需要的感覺。
有人依賴我,需要我,我會得到滿足。

面對感情,我們所要采取的就是三不政策:
第一是不急:不要急著結婚。
結婚雖然是很美好的事,但是不要著急,該是你的就是你的。
第二是不怕:不要害怕付出。彼此必需一輩子努力,才能把感情維持好。
你不可能『得到』一個美好的感情,你只能找到一個你心愛的人來共同經營、造就、完成一段美好的感情。如果你沒決心做好男人,那你就得不到好女人。
世界上沒有一個坏男人會有一個好女人,坏男人只會有可怜的女人;同樣的,也沒有一個坏女人會有一個好男人。
何況感情中還有一個跟我們共同努力、想把它做好的人。
這個合伙事業成功的机會是很大的,關鍵就在于你是否愿意努力、付出而已。
第三是不要放棄。
當你受了打擊、挫折、傷害,當你感到灰心、失望時,有一個人無條件的,永遠
站在你這一邊,支持你、鼓勵你、安慰你,讓你重新站起來面對這個世界這個力量,是再親的父母不能給我們的,是再要好的朋友也不能給我們的,只有在人生的旅程中所找到的心愛的伴侶,才能夠給我們。
其實愛情是人生唯一的、真正珍貴的;也是唯一的、真正值得追求的東西。
只要你有一個心愛的人,你就有了原動力,你就能面對全世界。

20060125

lost...

lookin @ those trainin w power, life & energy
lookin @ myself train w/o power, life & energy;
i seemed 2 ve lost myself,
strayed wayward frm ware i started out @,
wanderin off_track...

sumware along e way i lost my vigor 4 muaythai;
trainin 4 e sake of trainin,
trainin juz 2 downsize
lost my power & stamina...

put myself down when i didnt do well,
did nothin actively 2 rectrify it,
juz mellowin -vely

i started muaythai 2 fulfil my luv 4 martial arts,
luved its flexibility,
luved its sleek & lethal moves,
luved its life & vigor on e ring...

bit by bit i got em
but lost myself...
gettin whacked in e ring,
coz i CANT SEE wats in front of me,
coz i CANT APPLY wat i already noe in e ring fights

i simply sux;
bagwk, padwk, sparrin...
so how e HELL m i gona FIGHT in e ring???!!!
definitely not goin up 2 b a clown or punchin bag;

IM GONA FIGHT!!!

20060111

homo sapiens firewall

y pple set firewalls on others?
y pple reject others?


i do reject sum pple on certain basis tt r 'harmless'; it doesnt affect me in aniwae when i boot em outta my life but i take it as they xist due 2 connectNs

but sum set up e fws 4 reasons unknown 2 others [oni known 2 emselves] & block all 'invites', pple outta their lives; they juz 1 2 b seclusive or elusive & oni open 'ports' 2 certain pax

but when a person sets a fw on another, wateva tt person says it'll b immediate in-out 4 e other coz they ve 'rejected' all 'communicatNs'; 2 em its nothin, tis's even worse when its duplex;

no way can ani communicatNs occur whether w hubs, switches, routers, bt, irda, wlan 11/54/108, wap, gprs, 3g, 56k, bb, cable, t1, t3, fiber optic, cat5, coaxial, wateva

howeva in e edu world, doin tis'll oni land urself in shit; often docents 'perceive' students understand when they dun qn & students dun qn 2 'save time' or mayb lazy. in e end theres no active communicatNs & it juz dies down -_- mayb lecs shld b more interactive, colorful, entertainin instead of dead reads frm e slides

juz sumthin on communicatNs based on an event tt happened 2dae

either e world's gettin colder or pple r gettin colder

20051117

suppressed

was readin tis thread on kt: loud mouth parents gives higher chances of teenage rebels? & reality came back 2 me...

how suppressed my life's... coz there r so mani things i wana do but i cant...
how restricted im... coz i cant do things pple of my age over e yrs ve done...
how autistic im... coz im not even communicatin @ hm...

not tt i dun 1 2 comm but its hard 2 comm when u & tt person has a 37 yrs gap altho tt person's ur closest...
how 2 tok when in less than 5 mins tt person'll clamp u down w a '我吃得鹽比你吃的米還多' kinda attitude...
when tt person toks 2 u in a demandin tone, xpectin u 2 do wateva she 1s...
when in tt person's eyes u r 'bad', altho its an obvious fact 2 others tt u r 'good'...
when wateva u do, tt person tinks its nv enuf...
when in front of others she's 'gd' 2 u but @ e back its e opp...
when pple 'tok' 2 her she'll 'listen' but after tt she'll turn back 2 u & say 'wat u cant tell me, ve 2 tell em & let em tell me???!!! let em tink i dunno how 2 teach u???!!!'
when tt person sees her pride/'face' more impt than u...
when tt person says 'everythin i do's 4 u...' but u cant feel it...
when tt person's doin all tt she dun allow u 2 do juz bcoz she's an elder...
when tt person says 'i give u alot of freedom' when shes stil chainin u...
when tt person did all tt she dun allow u 2 do when she was @ ur age...
when tt person says 'when u r 16/18/21, i'll let u blah blah blah' but it nv comes true...

altho pple'll say 'u r e oni 1, tts y...'; i noe its e fuckin truth but im an ADULT!!!
i ve a fuckin brain 2 tink altho there r alot of things i havent xperienced coz she dun fuckin give me e space/freedom/chance 2 xperience it;

how e fuck do e xpect a bird 2 fly outta e cage when u close e door or chain it w e door open???!!!...

altho i noe she means well but shldnt there b a certain space 4 me???!!!

tts y when shes hm, im out;
when shes in e livin rm, im in my rm...
no mitin = no comm = no tokin = no miscomm = no conflict = no argument = no unhappiness = peace

luckily ive e gym [bags 2 whack], a blog [2 type outta emotNs], pple bearable 2 me, me bein self restrainin else i wld ve bcame a delinquent liao...

I FEEL SO SUPPRESSED!!! SO STRESSED!!! CAN SUM1 PULL ME OUTTA TIS FUCKIN SHIT HOLE???!!!

20051023

認知

一位藝人說過一句話. 他說:"人, 在面對現實時, 有兩種應對方法: 一種是逼自己長大; 另一種是變得像個孩子一樣."

真是一言驚醒夢中人. 不, 應該說"頓悟", 比較貼切吧.

一直以來, 我認為自己有時太過實際; 甚麼事都必須有個解釋, 一切都可以按部就班的分析.

很多人說過我很成熟理智, 有時甚至覺得有些過於理智而變成冷酷. 我承認這一點. 但是, 大家疏不知的, 是我覺得自己有時也很幼稚, 很無理取鬧.

很矛盾. 成熟與幼稚, 怎能並存?
百思不得其解, 而且很爭雜.

討厭自己的冷淡與淡漠. 也厭惡本身的幼稚和情緒化, 更加對於不能控制及解釋自身的感覺感到反感.


聽過了那句話, 再慢慢思考後, 發現自己的"雙性", 會因環境的趨勢而交替. 在面對無助, 孤立, 或必須自身擔當責任時, 我變得很理智; 為了保護自己, 我會呈現淡漠. 相反的, 如週邊有可信賴之人能給予庇護, 主導權我弘手相讓, 擔子讓你挑; 自己則做個需要人照顧, 只會撒嬌哭鬧的孩子.

不了解自尊過勝的自己, 也非常看不起逃避現實的自己.
詘之以鼻...

兩頭不著岸, 讓人迷失在茫茫大海中.

我想, 在獲得這份認知時, 是在當中尋找平衡: 在成長成熟的當兒, 也別失去童真中的熱情.

20050824

hmm...

start track: 南拳媽媽 - 原來

got a msg frm ah beng last nite; v long since he last msged me n v v long since i last saw him after he went ns, mayb 2-3 yrs liao... reali tt long...

juz now was @ mac w kk den we were tokin:

me: v long i nv go ktv, v long i nv chiong, v long i nv play pool n v long i nv play mahjong liao...
kk: all of us play mahjong til sian liao den u say u 1 2 play...
me: all along i 1 2 play but u all dun let me play...
kk: coz u dun dare 2 bet/gamble...
me: coz im NOT WKIN mah but den reali v long nv ktv/chiong/play pool liao...
kk: coz all ur time's sch, wk, muaythai, drive mah...


den i was tinkin its kinda true since e start of tis yr... e pple ive been mitin n seein seems 2 b e same grp of pple; those @ e gym, those @ sch, those @ hm, 張果老, kk, thing n e occasional pple tt pop up...

suddenly alot of pple r missed out... most of e guys r @ ns so no nid 2 say liao... but there r oso others who r outta tt category but there havent been much contact [call/msg/mit/msn]... suddenly my 'social' circle ve shrinked... in e past theres stil msnin but now it seems tt e internet isnt utilized fully 2 enhance p2p comm... lucky theres friendster 2 'noe' their recents [if they update or r on it -_-;;;]

tink e past me had a more colorful life; mitin diff pple @ diff times, havin diff topics frm diff pple w diff lifestyles, perspectives n age grps... now all seems 2 ve vanished...

mayb its bein broke tts makin me not venture out coz now $ seems so impt yet im alwaz short of it... but e change of lifestyle ve oso mellowed me down frm bein e speaker-mouthed n whackin person 2 a 'tamed' person tt tinks of nothin xcept ZZZ all dae n nite long [is tt so???] takin things as they come n dwells in last min wk aggressN... tink ive morphed in2 a hibernator tts gd; @ least bein hm bound saves $ n builds a healthier lifestyle; bein myself, b direct n not 2 face pple i dread 2... maskin's tirin n unhealthy 2 p2p comm...

suddenly i 1 2 mass msg pple n remind e world tt...

JOY'S STIL ALIVE N KICKIN!!!
ASK ME OUTTA SUMTIMES!!!
else msg/call/msn oso can haha...

is it me isolatin frm e world, kickin out pple???...
or e world ve abandoned or given up on me???...

end track: eason chan - 新美人注義