xmas's supposed 2 b a happy season but sumhow tis time round it suxs... y?
eve
i had too much 2 drink: 1 chivas + 3 vodka nic shots + ice... after tt i was swingin ard, after 'snowfight' everythin 'erupted' n i puked lk shit @ simon's place... n everywhere... tis i noe... i admit im not a gd drinker but i dun xpect myself 2 puke e guts out of me... as if i 1 2 shame myself in e public n coz inconvenience 2 others? who e hell wld 1 tt? but @ least i stil noe sumthings well enuff... well san was not ani beta den me... im physically down n she's emotNally down... as 2 how i created e mess let me tink... eh i began pukin outside den moved 2 toilet in which i wanted 2 wash myself after pukin w e toilet bowl h2o n juz wanted 2 lie there... den moved 2 out n puked everywhere n rubbin my face w it... seems gross but when u r down tts it... in fact i cld hear em but juz too strengthless 2 react 2 anithin... they sent me hm n i rmbed changin my clothes but who noes e next dae, i was topless n a cushN cover as on e flr which i dun rmb gettin 1... or wateva... well a drunkard nv noes wat he's doin... im gonna kip alcohol out 4 @ least a mth...
xmas dae
woke @ 730 den hell bgan... head n stomachache was so unbearable tt i went 2 puke wateva tt was left... felt beta n slpt awhile more... tt went on 4 3 hrs... lunched w e oso hung birdie... it was bad coz both of us cldnt eat... went 2 orchard met novi den walked ard... went hm in e evenin in e rain... so sian... ate cornflakes n nuts 4 dinner since anithin tasty's stil tasteless 2 me...
boxin dae
we were tokin abt how i shamed myself on eve... but im pretty sure i didnt sae anithin much... since i stil noe wat im doin... wateva... brought 100 out but seem 2 b left w 20 in e nite... oso dunno y... watched scary movie 3 n anna in kungfu land... quite funni but dun seem 2 b able 2 luff real happily dunno y... went 2 simon's w compensatN gifts... played cards, dai di... realli dun realli noe how 2 play... lose oso no choice 1 mah... hai~ wateva... well called san 2 tok...
actually all along i noe tt she n i r e same kind of person juz tt she's an xtremist n im e dun care sort... both of us r aloners... alwaes hangin out w e same grp of pple else we r isolated... if we dun look pple up, no 1'll look us up... tts y we r ?D???@??... supposinly 2 msg her sumthin but sent it wrongly 2 kk so wateva it's i dunno... juz feel so shack n tired when u c ur frenz ard u doin things tt u hope they wont do but cant do a thing 2 prevent it... wateva... if i ve god's power lk bruce almighty, i tink i'll do tis: rewind everythin 2 e start where god bgan 2 create e universe n adam n eve were livin happily n peaceful in e garden of eden. if things cant go tt far den prob i'll start frm e time where cigarettes or those smoky stuff werent created n'll nv b created... not 2 say im noble... but really... sum pple dunno tt they r actually fortunate 2 ve both parents n able 2 do things they lk... they'll nv noe e world of those who dun ve it... they'll nv noe... its not tragic... its tt they live in a world of resentment n grudge, well its an age 2 rebel... but 4 me its diff... real diff... actually if not 4 those 'materialistic' stuff tt were my target, i dunno wat shit i'll b... if not 4 e ctrl tt held me back, mayb i'll b roamin e streets or doin some low pay jobs... i tink i'll realli bcome a bum... i dun reali 1 2 change 4 e impossible but juz sumthin diff... wateva... mayb if i cld, i'll fly 2 a island w juz wat i tink i nid 2 survive simple n stay there 4 gd... away frm e mess, smoke n shit in e world... mayb all along we r livin in e matrix... haha~
blog end track: madison ave - who e hell r u
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