y ive 2 bear e butt

goin out late w diff ppl
loanin ppl $
chasin ppl $
accept e 'fact/xcuse' tt they cant return when i noe they fuckin earn a deal, get gov pkgs, enjoyin emselves yet tell me they cant return a single cent???!!!

is 50 alot 2 ask???
50 can b spent in a nite out yet not 2 me?
so im supposed 2 b put rite @ e bottom of e pit w all 'other infinite xpenses' pilin up above & juz rot there til infinity 4 my turn or when theres 'enuf' 2 spare 2 return?
but when & how muchs enuf??? how long's long???
tell me can sum1 fuckin tell me???!!!
damn loathe 2 chase pp4 4 $ coz i noe sum dun ve [else wont borrow frm me liao] but sum r juz shit

i tink i shldnt b tt generous/helpful/chivalrous/豪放/講義氣 [i shld b more 'selfish' which i cant] 2 lend ppl $, makin myself broke & miserable when they r merryin/doin wat they 'nid' w e $; but den again i cant juz burn e entire forest down coz 1 tree crushed me flat rite?

contradictin shit